For a lot of people the burbs are an ideal symbol of a stable lifestyle. A place to claim your responsibility and filter your more outlandish desires into "settling down mode”. Naturally, I thought this would be a reasonable thing for us to try out. Besides it works really well for so many people. So my wife and I bought a house at the end of a tired old cul-de-sac on the outskirts of Atlanta and started our “dream” lifestyle.
At first things weren’t bad. The house sat comfortably on a hill under tall trees. It was a roomy place with a huge back yard and pool. There was even an unfinished basement for band rehearsals. It was the “American dream” and from the outside everything looked right but deep inside things couldn’t have felt more off.
There is a line in the old movie Fight Club where the main character poignantly points out that “The things you own end up owning you”. It didn’t take long for me to start feeling the full weight of not only the financial burden but a responsibility and time commitment to manage each of our possessions well. Instead of seeing a pool when I went out on our back deck I would see the days of cleaning that needed to be done in order to keep it maintained. Instead of driving up to our home every day and appreciating it’s beauty I would see the trees that needed to be taken down so they didn’t fall on the house.
Every item we owned was claiming a little piece of my money and time. The impact of our decision really sank in when I started thinking about our dreams, the things we really wanted to do. I would love to tell you that this experience didn’t drive me crazy but I did once stare at a garage full of lawn equipment in disgust and thought to myself “Why are you all stealing my dream vacation?!”.
Needless to say we got out of there, sold the house and lived a gypsy life for years to come. I have settled from the experience with a more sensible home ownership where most of the things we own do have a purpose. I wrote a song about the experience called Culdesac Sadness (lyrics below). It’s about the insane expectations our culture puts on people to live a life of monetary slavery in exchange for artificial safety.
Somewhere in this process I learned that the world is changing too fast to just follow a former generation's lifestyles and expectations. The work your ass off 'til you’re dead with a mountain of debt mentality has to be challenged or it is otherwise deadly. Too many people trade in their dreams for the illusion of safety and stability. Your dreams are valid!
I do realize that not all dreams look the same. To some, that freedom looks like a nice home in the suburbs. To others, it may be living in a van on the road. No matter where you choose a lifestyle on that spectrum, choose it with respect to your own personal dreams. No decision is wrong unless you don’t follow your heart!
Culdesac Sadness from Great Escapes (http://tinyurl.com/culdesacsadness)
to find your way
with debt in hand
to claim your place
success awaits the one
who loses most
just turn away
just show me out
the mountain's calling
work a little bit faster now
feel a little bit better for it
even when I can't show you how
it'll all work out all work out
can't change this course
can't hold your breath
for another chance
to keep what means the most
just keep the pace
just hold this ground
just forge a way
your conscience calling
speak a little bit softer now
feel a little bit brighter for it
even when I can't show you how
it'll all work out all work out
speak a little bit softer now
feel a little bit brighter for it
work a little bit faster now
feel a little bit better for it
even when I can't show you how
it'll all work out all work out